The Connect Times

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Judy Garland, American actress & singer (1922 – 1969)

Time for a little honesty. Which of the following motivates you more?

A. Visualizing how your life improves as you reach your business and personal goals

B. The news that one of your competitors just closed another huge deal

While you might like to say “A” motivates you more, many people find that “B” is the one that lights a real fire. But while competition might spur you to work harder, is it a healthy strategy to manage your business? Certainly there’s no harm in learning from your competitors, but measuring yourself against others’ success has several negative outcomes.

For instance:

1. You seldom see your own progress. You should always be your own first benchmark. If you’re a new agent in your first year, why are you measuring your progress against a seasoned pro with a 20-year book of business? Would you try and inspire your 10-year-old daughter to play tennis by having her hit against Venus Williams? Of course not.

2. You’re always chasing your competitors’ ideas. When the agent down the street starts using QR codes, you might start thinking: “That’s it! I have to use QR codes!” But what’s driving that feeling, other than an abstract fear that you’re being out-innovated? How do you know what’s really working for them?

3. You’ve outsourced your motivation. Depending on the success/failure of your competitors to motivate you means you’ve effectively let someone else determine your “fire in the belly.” When your competitors are down, you slack off, reasoning, “It’s just the market, there’s nothing I can do.” Suddenly, when the competition begins to pick up, you’re scrambling with the fear of falling behind. It’s perfectly natural to feel a little envy of other successful agents. After all, they have what you want, right? But it’s hazardous to let that envy drive your every decision. It can lead to a truly corrosive kind of resentment, which, as we’ve written in the past, is a silent killer. Look for ways to center your own motivation within yourself. Compare your efforts week-over-week and year-over-year. Take stock of the market, pricing, and inventory, and be honest about what is and isn’t in your control. If you put the effort into being a “first rate you” versus a “second rate someone else,” you’ll discover more joy in building your business.

Source: Scott Levitt / 10/2011

“When you are through changing, you are through.”
–Bruce F. Barton (1886 – 1967), author & Congressman

There are those in business who lament change–shifts in how we communicate, the speed of technology, the feeling that what we learned a few years ago is obsolete. But adapting to change is what keeps our minds sharp. Change brings new ideas, new perspectives on old ideas, and plenty of opportunities to see the world as a new place.

I am not among those who see all change as a symptom of “the end of the good old days.” I see change as a sign of perpetual reinvestment in the world, a sign that people are hungry for new experiences, and willing to embrace what change brings. While some of what is good may get lost, progress is almost always worth the cost.

I hope to be so lucky to be an old man who is still interested in new technology, trends, and shifts in thinking. It seems to me that the happiest among us maintain a natural curiosity. Those that lose it seem to age before their time. What Bruce Barton says is true: When you are through changing, you’re through.

Source: Scott Levitt / 09/2011

“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.”
–Ancient Proverb

In a booming seller’s market, it takes almost no effort at all to make your way in real estate. Indeed, in the last (and some would say: reckless) “gold rush” market, it seemed that anyone with a real estate license tacked to the wall could make a good living without the slightest bit of sales and marketing skill.

Of course, when the market tanked, who were the first to see their ships sink?

A common saying in sales is “bad habits come from good times.” When the money is easy, little effort is made to invest in education, training, prospecting, or technology upgrades. People cultivate poor client relationship management habits and frequently fall out of touch.

In a tough market, the converse is true: We develop our best habits when times are hard.

What you learn and practice during these times will serve you well when the market turns. Now is the time to double down on your client relationship skills, improving personal productivity, and learning new technology. This way, when the gold rush mentality returns, you’ll have the good habits and hard-won knowledge to outperform the masses.

Take today’s rough seas as the best lesson you could possibly have in sailing through to prosperous times. On days when it seems that nothing works and times are lean, remember that today’s adversity is teaching you what a boom market can never teach. Invest in yourself and form good habits now.

Source: Scott Levitt 08/2011

‘Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.’ ~Lao Tzu

A lot of people come to Zen Habits (and read other personal development blogs and books) because they want to improve something about themselves. They’re not satisfied with their lives, they’re unhappy with their bodies, they want to be better people. I know, because I was one of those people. This desire to improve myself and my life was one of the things that led to Zen Habits. I’ve been there, and I can say that it leads to a lot of striving, and a lot of dissatisfaction with who you are and what your life is. A powerful realization that has helped me is simply this: You’re already good enough, you already have more than enough, and you’re already perfect. Try saying that to yourself, as corny as that might sound, just to see if it sounds true. Does it resonate as something you already believe (in which case, you can probably stop reading now), or does it not feel right?   Do you feel like there are things you still need to improve?   The thing I’ve learned, and it’s not some new truth but an old one that took me much too long to learn, is that if you learn to be content with who you are and where you are in life, it changes everything.

Consider what changes:

* You no longer feel dissatisfied with yourself or your life.

* You no longer spend so much time and energy wanting to change and trying to change.

* You no longer compare yourself to other people, and wish you were better.

* You can be happy, all the time, no matter what happens in the world around you.

* Instead of trying to improve yourself, you can spend your time helping others.

* You stop spending so much money on things that will supposedly improve your life.

* You can be smug about it, like me. OK, the last bit was a joke, but the rest is true, in my experience.

And here’s another realization that I’ve written about before:

You already have everything you need to be happy, right here and right now. Do you have eyes that see?

You have the ability to appreciate the beauty of the sky, of greenery, of people’s faces, of water. Do you have ears that hear?

You have the ability to appreciate music, the sound of rainfall, the laughter of friends. You have the ability to feel rough denim, cool breezes, grass on bare feet … to smell fresh-cut grass, flowers, coffee … to taste a plum, a chili pepper, chocolate.

This is a miracle, and we take it for granted. Instead, we strive for more, when we already have everything. We want nicer clothes, cooler gadgets, bigger muscles, bigger boobies, flatter stomachs, bigger houses, cars with leather seats that talk to you and massage your butt. We’ve kinda gone insane that way. The sane thing is to realize we don’t need any of that. We don’t need to improve our lives. We don’t need to improve ourselves, because we’re already perfect. Once you accept this, it frees you. You’re now free to do things, not because you want to be better, but because you love it. Because you’re passionate about it, and it gives you joy. Because it’s a miracle that you even can do it. You’re already perfect. Being content with yourself means realizing that striving for perfection is based on someone else’s idea of what “perfect” is … and that that’s all bullshit. Perfect is who you are, not who someone else says you should be. Also, as corny as it may sound, I love you, completely and unconditionally, and if everyone else in your world betrays and abandons you, you always have me. Now stop reading this post, and go be happy.

Source: Leo Babauta 08/2011

“I am because you are.”
–African Proverb

I can think of no simpler way to sum up the nature of a true community than this African proverb. In five words, you have the guiding principle behind client service, neighborly attitude, and public service. When we forget this truth, we risk becoming isolated and self-obsessed.

Just 15 years ago, your business interactions would have likely involved a phone, fax machine, letter, or face-to-face meeting. Now, however, your options have exploded: You may text, blog, email, tweet, update your Facebook page, comment, and video conference.

You would think that with the rise of network technology that we would be constantly reminded of this proverb’s truth. Yet with all the power this technology provides us in our careers and personal lives, it is more valuable than ever that we remember to remain human. We must make a concerted effort to remember that we are not communicating with machines when we use machines to further our relationships.

The smiling emoticon is no substitute for a real smile. It is a reminder that the technology we use falls short of providing the components of tone, emotion, and body language that human civilization has depended on for thousands of years.

As you integrate new communication technologies into your business, try and hold onto the idea that we are more than the sum of our messages and updates. Recognize how much exists beyond these transactional forms of communication. While much has been done to improve speed of service, quality of service remains a uniquely human challenge.

7 Questions to Ask Before Confronting a Conflict

Top performing real estate agents are often skilled in conflict resolution.

Cultivating the ability to manage conflict and successfully communicate through contentious negotiations not only gets the deal done, but it also retains clients for years to come.

Perhaps the first rule of conflict resolution?   You don’t have to resolve a conflict you don’t have in the first place.  With that rule in mind, we provide you this incredibly useful article which asks the question, “Should I confront that conflict?” Dr. Tammy Lenski, a conflict resolution innovator adept at turning conflict into growth and opportunity, provides us this article from her blog, “Conflict Zen.” In it, she provides seven questions to ask before confronting a conflict.

When should you talk and when should you just walk?

Find out, as Tammy explains the thinking behind these 7 crucial questions:

1. Can I let this go…really let it go?

2. If I don’t deal with this one, will it eat at a work or home relationship that is important to me?

3. If I confront this, what are the things I and my relationship with that person will gain?

4. What is the worst that can happen if it doesn’t go well and what specific steps will I take to recover?

5. Are there others who stand to lose if I don’t confront this?

6. When I imagine myself thinking about this in a month, will this be one that counted?

7. When I’m 100 and looking back at my life, will this be a dispute or a relationship that counted?

You should read Tammy’s article. It might just save your next transaction… or even a vital friendship:

http://lenski.com/conflictzen/should-i-confront-that-conflict-7-questions-to-ask/

Source: Scott Levitt / 07/21/11

Single Women a Rising Force in the Housing Market

Unmarried women continue to make up a growing segment of home buyers and are buying homes in record numbers: Last year, they composed 20 percent of all buyers last year, according to the National Association of REALTORS®. Single men accounted for 12 percent.

The Joint Center for Housing Studies says the three main reasons single women are purchasing homes are:

▪ They have a strong desire to nest (the top-ranked reason).
▪ They want to relocate closer to a job or family.
▪ They need more space.

In capturing this growing segment of female buyers, builders are reflecting more female tastes in the design of homes. For example, in new houses, builders are adding security features, gourmet kitchens, and maintenance-free yards to appeal more to the single woman buyer.

Housing experts say that single women are purchasing homes at various stages in their lives —some are new college grads and plan to one day get married while others may be divorced or just want to set up roots in their own place.

 
Source: “Singles Dive Into the Real Estate Market,” SecondAct/MSN (July 12, 2011)

Learn from others. You don’t have time to make all the mistakes.

“Wisdom comes from two places, mistakes and mentors.”
–Mike Murdock

Mistakes are life’s most vivid teachers. We seldom forget the lesson learned as a kid, running barefoot into a hot asphalt parking lot, or exploring with our finger that unguarded electrical outlet. Yowch! Pow! No need to try a second time. Lasting wisdom in a flash!

Unfortunately, we don’t have enough time to make all the mistakes we need to make in order to earn a lifetime’s worth of wisdom. The presence of a coach in our lives, or mentors who have gone before us, are key to helping us accelerate our acquisition of knowledge, which applied over time will become wisdom.

You will prosper far more in business by admitting what you don’t know. Admitting you are new, admitting you are a rookie in the game, is not a weakness. While you may feel it is an impediment to gaining new clients, the fact of the matter is, everyone has to start somewhere. Your best bet is to seek out mentors who will share with you a little (if not all) of what they’ve learned.

Yes, some will be intimidated by new blood, the upstarts, those who might rock the boat. You can’t control that, though. Look for those mentors who are secure in what they do and how they do it enough to help guide you. Be open with them. Ask them how they got started. Ask them what they wish they knew back in the day. What mistakes would they caution you about?

One of the best ways to get these conversations going is to offer to buy lunch. Consider it a business development expense! Everyone pays tuition, from the classroom to the poker table and beyond. See if you can setup a standing monthly lunch with one or two people who you admire in your market or in a related client-services field (mortgage, legal, etc.).

Mentors can also come in the form of recorded lectures, audio books, and talks. Spend much time in the car? On a treadmill? Leveraging your “dead time” to learn is a great way to clock a few extra “mentor miles.”

Finally: Remember to give it back. If you’re an experienced agent, remember the days when you were starting out. Seek out someone you can help. Blog about your experience. Find opportunities to be a mentor. You might be surprised how useful it is to go back through what you know (and rediscover a few things you may have forgotten).

Source:  Scott Levitt (07/11)

Don’t underestimate the value of this simple system.

Checklists: Do they say “amateur” or “professional” in your mind?

If you talk to Atul Gawande, surgeon and author of The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, the simple checklist might just be the tool that saves your life the next time you’re in the hospital. Gawande brings to light the types of errors we typically make, whether through ignorance (what we don’t know) or execution (when we don’t apply what we know correctly).

While you might not think of a real estate transaction as a life or death situation, it’s hard to argue against the benefits of using checklists to navigate each step of the real estate transaction. (And hey, for your clients it might just feel like life or death!)

With one or two deals on the table, it may be a snap to hold the deadlines and next steps in your head, but see what happens when that number multiplies. Checklists which cover each phase of the transaction not only ensure you hit deadlines, but they’re also tremendously useful for communicating with clients and keeping them on the same page.

If you’re squeamish about breaking out a checklist with clients (what do I say?) put any doubt to rest this way:

“My job is to ensure the sale of your home is as stress-free and smooth a process as possible. Just like pilots who consult a checklist for procedures they know like the back of their hand, I keep us organized, synchronized, and on track with some simple checklists. It’s worked for me for years, and I think you’ll find it may help you visualize the process, too. You’ll know exactly where we stand, each step of the way.”

Risk yourself, because failure is seldom as bad as it sounds.

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for.”
–John Augustus Shedd

Ships occasionally sink. This is an inevitable truth. But even in some of the worst historical naval disasters (The Titanic, the USS Indianapolis), we find stories of survivors.

Does this diminsh the pain of loss? Certainly not. But it should help remind us: Even the worst case scenario is not necessarily the end of the line.

Take, for example: You. You’re a survivor in business. When the inevitable cycle of real estate rises again, you will have a survivor story to tell. You’ll know what it takes to navigate through truly brutal markets. Keep swimming for the shore and looking for the life raft. You’ll emerge from this market stronger than those who come swarming back to “calm waters” of a boom market.

Which brings me around to the whole idea of risk and the ghost of catastrophe. Given that you can’t control the market and that you’ve survived “the worst,” why let fear paralyze you and keep you from taking new risks?

If you’ve been considering a big idea–whether it’s a new marketing plan, the decision to expand your team, or a sizeable reinvestment in your business–how much are you really risking by going for it? The bigger risk might be not going for it.

Remember: Seldom does “failure” in the real world hurt as much as the idea of failure in our minds. In fact, we learn the most from disasters.

The only thing to do? Chart the best course you can and get out of the “safe harbor” of avoiding risk.

Source: Scott Levitt 06/2011